In my own little world I would love to be the most frugal person alive. I am not sure why, but I think it is to do with the challenge of reinventing past behaviours to such an extent that I can truly say I have swung a full 180.
At the moment I believe I have swung maybe a full 45 degrees. Hey it's a quarter of the way there. But what I need to keep at the forefront of my mind is the other 135 degrees I still want to travel.
I am still too close to being one purchase away from falling back to old buying ways. Like a reformed alcoholic, I am still a big spender who is that one purchase away from falling back down the hole of wasted money.
I resent this, but accept that it will make me a stronger person for all the hard work and focus it takes to change forever. I want to be the person who uses everything up, who wears things out and who doesn't lose focus at the sight of one pair of beautifully crafted leather knee high boots.
The last few months have taught me that a blip in my life is all I need to go back to parting, quite randomly with my hard-earned money.
But it hasn't felt good. It has felt horribly and nastily revolting. I am under control again, damn glad of it.
And just for today, I will not spend (on unnecessary crap at least).